I’m so glad to hear it, James! Congrats on your first time! It’s why I’m here. 🙂 Thanks for letting me know – and all the best to you! 👊🏻

Thanks so much, Paul – I’m thrilled to help!

That’s awesome, Ellie! Congrats for making this journey! I love my Aussie celebrants! 🙂

Hey Marisa! No problem – you got this! I find that the best time for a unity ritual is right after the vows. It solidifies the vows they just made. As for the handfasting: this could go either way – either before or after the ring exchange. Here’s what to consider: you could do it before the ring exchange, but then they would have to remove the ribbon or cord (slip their hands out) to move on to the rings. OR: you could do the ring exchange and then the handfasting, so that the rings are already on and when you pronounce them and they kiss, their hands are fastened. Ask your couple which they prefer with those logistics in mind. I’ve done it both ways and it works both ways.

So to sum up, I would do Vows > Unity Candle > [Handfasting > Rings or Rings > Handfasting] > Pronouncement.

Make sense? Thanks for asking – all my best to you!

Hey Trisha – congrats on officiating for family! I typically just explain to the guests what’s happening next. In this case, “This is the part of the ceremony and the part of their story when Craig and James will make promises to each other that in this setting we traditionally call ‘vows….'”

Thanks for your comment, Elise. I’m with you – I don’t love it. That said, most people don’t know the origins of the tradition and so it doesn’t have the same oppressive power when you don’t know. Plus, as an officiant working for and with the couple, I do want to honour the preferences of the couple. I like the custom of the couple walking in together, too!

A lot of my couples opt to write and read their own vows, but they also want to say “I do.” So after they read their vows to each other, then I read one of the vow selections in the form of a question, and they just reply, “I do.” 🙂